Dumb Things Women Think If your husband has lost interest in you sexually, whose fault is it? It might seem like a rude question in a way, but women have been asking me that for a couple decades by now.
I'd say generally the question is not meant as a real or honest question.
Sometimes it is but generally it isn't.
How can I say that? Because on further investigation I almost without exception that the women are of one or the other of two minds.
Camp #1 Men are Pigs Among a first group of women are those who have already drawn conclusions about who and what men are: pigs.
This group of women believe that men are only sexually interested in young, skinny, "perfect," beautiful and horny women who want to pleasure them in a thousand ways and be their sex slaves and are dying to have sex with them.
This group of women tend to see men as shallow, totally driven by their genitals and utterly lacking in the ability to see women as people, but only as sex objects.
So when they think about "getting my husband interested in me again," the only things they can think will work are beauty tricks, losing weight, getting nasty in bed, and generally attempting to be one of those more-or-less sluts they think men (including their husbands) are interested in.
They see men as hopelessly driven by these external images and figure - begrudgingly and with some hostility - that they can only have any marital security and attention if they "put out" sexually and act like a bit of a tramp or porn star to do it.
I guess anyone has a right to do anything they want and for some people such games might actually be a lot of fun...
but in the long term, if this is just an act, and done in the spirit of thinking "men are pigs, but this is the only way to get them interested," it's not going to work out to develop a lasting deep sexual relationship.
You and your husband will eventually feel degraded by this.
I'll give you a very powerful clue you can take to your psychological bank right now.
Men are not pigs.
They have perfectly natural sexual desires and it is a perfectly natural urge to express intimacy through sexuality.
Camp #2 There's Something Wrong with Me Group 2 of the most common assumptions among women go like this: I'm too fat, too old, too unappealing, too boring or too "whatever it might be.
" For this group of women, the blame gets places squarely on your head if you think this way, and generally about things over while you have no control.
If you think that because you're 45 years old and your husband seems to be aroused by 25 year old beauties, you have no chance, then you're doomed, because there's nothing in the whole world you can possibly do about being 45 years old.
True, you might be able to manage your weight better, but if you're 45, 55, 65 years old, nature takes her course, and you're never going to look like one of those skinny 23 year old models.
It just isn't going to happen.
The paradox is that if you sit there giving yourself a whole rash of bad attitude and criticizing yourself about many things you have no control over, you're just going to deepen your problem, because you're not going to be fun to be with.
No man wants to hear about how sorry you feel for yourself that you have aged, gotten overweight or wrinkly.
Men never want to hear this drama and if you are pointing it out, trying to fish for compliments to make you feel better that he truly "does love you anyway" the only thing you're going to accomplish is to make absolutely certain he does notice you've aged and gained weight and don't feel bad about yourself.
Here's What Men Want I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that men don't fantasize about young, beautiful hot women.
But what they really want more than anything in the world is exactly what you can provide.
Men more than anything else want to know (in the sexual realm) you think they are sexy, handsome and attractive, and that you want to have sex with them and are ready willing and able.
Easy.