Having a baby is such a special time. It really brings out the postpartum visitors in full force for many families. This added attention can be nice, but it can also be very tiring for the new mother, baby and the whole family.

Visitors can also have bad timing. Maybe it is the first chance you’ve had to rest all day, even if it is 10 a.m. Perhaps you really need to nurse and you don’t feel like having an audience while you work on nursing your baby. These are just a few of the examples of how visitors can be annoying, even when you’re glad to see them. So what’s a new family to do?

There are a couple of ways that you can both meet the needs of you and your family as well as have people over to see the new baby.

• Sip & See
  The Sip & See is sort of like a party. It’s a low key baby shower type of event, usually without the games and gifts. You pick a date, usually a couple of weeks after your baby is born and invite people over for an open house. This usually lasts for two to three hours. Because it’s an open house, people can come and go as they please. It is fairly normal to serve some snacks and drinks. Keep this low key and pawn the work off on a dear friend or your mother or mother-in-law.
  
  
• Visiting Hours
  Visiting hours is a low key way to have visitors. You simply state what time people can drop by and when. This can usually be a day or two after your get home from the hospital, or even as early as the next day if you’ve had a home birth and feel up to it. This one has no expectations of feeding guests or entertaining.

In addition to being tiring, sometimes visitors can be dangerous. Many times small colds that they don’t even notice are a huge risk for a small baby who does not have a fully developed immune system. While hands washing and refusing to let some guests hold the baby, it can get a bit touchy. This is one of the reasons it is important to set up rules no matter how you set up your visiting hours. Your rules can vary but may include things like:

• Don’t come over if you or your family is sick, even just sniffles.
• Plan on staying just a little while.
• Don’t come early or stay late.
• Know that you might not get to hold the baby.
• Ask before your bring your kids.
• Same for pets.

People may call you before the event to ask what they can do. Do not tell them that you don’t need help. Have them pick up something from the store for you. Perhaps they can bring you a meal for your freezer (if you know them well enough). You can also think about sending the information about your event with a link to a helper’s calendar, like Meal Train or Take Them a Meal. This can take the stress off you and allow others to help you. (This is usually something that makes others feel good, so don’t ignore this aspect of it.)

In the end, remember, you can only set this up, you can’t make people follow it. Have plenty of hand sanitizer or a place to wash hands available. Be prepared to walk out of your own living room if need be to take care of either yourself or the baby. Talk to your family members before hand to have them understand this as well.

Remember, the goal is to show off the baby, share your birth story and to visit briefly with people. You can certainly make exceptions for your best friend and some family members. Just space everyone out to save your energy and allow you to care for the baby.