Copyright (c) 2009 Vin DiCarlo

I'm a failure for psychology articles. I actually think most psychology theories are useless and misleading.

There's a term for this - "junk psychology" or "pop psychology."

But there's something to learn in everything you encounter.

So I am always curious to read about new findings, especially ones related to pickup.

I recently read an article that looked at how generous guys are when in a romantic state of mind. Basically, it went like this:

Random people were approached on the street and asked to think of a) a romantic encounter they had or would like to have, or b) a favorite piece of music.

Then, as they walked on, someone else approached the person and asked for money for a train ticket.

The males who were told to adopt a romantic focus became much more generous than those who were told to think about music.

For women, generosity was initially high (in the control group) and stayed about the same regardless of the independent variable (what to think about).

I'm sure you can relate to this. If you leave your house after having a "hook-up", you are in a great mood and will most likely give some change to a bum if you have it.

If you are on a date with a woman and you like her, you will most likely start shelling out money just to keep her happy.

But I have to say, thinking about this pissed me off.

Men are workers, earners. We like to use our minds and bodies to support ourselves and bring home the bacon. It just feels good as a man!

But it gets taken for granted, doesn't it.

I'm sure you've been on a date with a woman, who was maybe cute, but didn't really have that great of a personality.

But you convinced yourself you liked her, and probably even found yourself laughing at her dumb jokes and telling her you liked her crappy taste in music.

And you spent money. And spent more money...

Only to get a lame goodnight kiss, if that.

And then came the anger. You WORKED for that money. And what'd she do to get it from you?

She stood there and looked cute.

She is not deserving to get all that money because she did NOTHING.

And this is what makes it worse?

She probably went back to her apartment and called some guy to bang her out.

Yes I'm serious about that. You have NO IDEA what women are REALLY like - it's a whole different world...and sometimes I wish I was still ignorant because it can be very hard to not be jaded knowing what I know.

But I know there are good girls out there. I'm dating one right now!

How do I know this?

It took a while to get where I am. I notice little cues.

For example, if you're girl isn't paying for dinner on a REGULAR BASIS, she isn't totally devoted to you.

There's another guy if she puts other things ahead of calling you back.

And if she isn't initiating intimately with you, it's probably because you don't turn her on as much as other guys - you aren't DOMINANT enough.

And here's where the confusion begins. And the depression.

Guys are told the WRONG WAY to be dominant, and they shoot themselves in the foot. They try to put on a front and act a certain way.

But here's the thing - if you are acting, if you are TRYING on different level - you aren't dominant.

And women can smell it.

Once you understand dominance, women will naturally WANT TO GIVE TO YOU, and you can be that lazy guy who doesn't give a damn and expects women to wait on him hand and foot.

Or you can have a great, loving, mutual relationship.

Or something in-between.

One of the best ways to start this is by dating the RIGHT WAY.

Most guys chase and chase and look needy. When the girl finally agrees to meet-up, the frame is set: she is the prize and you better get that wallet out, big boy!

Don't let this happen to you - you don't deserve that.