At least once a day to satisfy needs for more energy and calm, check in with your emotions.
We don't need resentments hanging around.
Identify your values being satisfied or unsatisfied right now from your daily experiences.
Try this before a meal or before going before bed.
This s a great way to remove emotional garbage.
More specific exercises are below.
My real life example: I have just returned from a 5 day trip.
Yes, I forgot to take the garbage out before I left.
Well you know what happens.
When I came home.
My garbage was smelling very bad.
So I took it out and the house smelled good again.
The same holds true for emotional garbage.
If we don't take it out.
It starts to smell.
It causes stress, emotional pain, sometimes high blood pressure.
I need to find a way to remove this emotional garbage at least for my health.
For example: As I was thinking about my plane trip from last night I had several judgments about the person that sat next to me.
His elbow kept hitting me in the side while he was using his computer.
It took me awhile until I finally said something to him.
As I thought about him today and the experience,the resentment was still present.
I became angry as I thought about this situation of his elbow being in my side and why he didn't realize that I was uncomfortable.
Lots of Garbage Thinking? What I do to remove it? I said to myself,"Doesn't he realize his elbow is in my side?What is wrong with this man?"This kind of thinking, I don't want to have.
It takes away my energy.
1: Identify Emotions: So as I think about this now I become upset.
This is the energy that I do not want.
So I identify my emotions when I think of that situation now.
Not last night, but when I think of this now.
So my EMOTIONS are.
I'm uncomfortable, I'm upset, irritated, amazed.
Remember, emotions at this moment.
2: Identify needs and Values: What values or needs are not being met.
As you may guess there are many needs.
Stop reading this at this point and try to guess,what values of mine are not being met? Some of my needs, as I think of it right now might be for ease, fairness for space ,comfort,consideration, respect.
I just let out a sigh..
This means I'm connecting with myself.
At this time, I have just removed this emotional garbage.
The sigh was a signal this has happened.
3: .
I want to rid myself of the enemy image, the resentment of this person.
I try to identify his needs.
These needs are the needs that he was trying to meet by taking more space and putting his arm in my side.
Try to guess what these are?Now he was about 6 foot five, and we were in a commuter plane.
So he was probably trying to meet his needs for comfort also.
As I think about his needs, more emotional garbage is leaving me as I'm able to connect with his VALUES not being met.
So in summary, 1: (10%)Identify my emotions now.
not emotions yesterday butwhat my emotions are right now about the situation.
2:90% of this exercise is identifying my values.
What values were not satisfied.
3: Identifying the needs of the my fellow 6 foot five passenger.
So now I'm even smiling and laughing, because the emotional garbage is gone.
iF i did not do the exercise, this experience would pile up with all the other stuff until I exploded.
It is now gone and my emotions are free to enjoy my day and not be in resentments.
So try this exercise now as this is being proactive, calming yourself for the rest of your day or sleep.
May you find ways to meet all your needs!